


I just hate water

by NnnnnNanio



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Overstimulation, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sensory Deprivation, Sensory Processing Disorder, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Tommyinnit needs a hug, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, barely beta read, i just wanted to vent, swear words in the narration of the fic, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NnnnnNanio/pseuds/NnnnnNanio
Summary: Tommy has a panic attack due to his sesnory processing disorder and Wilbur helps.vent fic
Comments: 11
Kudos: 502





	I just hate water

**Author's Note:**

> im not saying tommy actually has this, i doubt it. im just venting caus i had a panic attack today and that shit aint fun. 
> 
> if tommy states hes uncomfy with this ill remove.

Tommy never knew how to explain it, if he tried, he was called crazy or weird.

Tommy really fucking hated water. 

He could drink water simply fine but be in it?? He hated swimming, he hated rain, he hated showers. He hated water touching him. 

What was weird about this was when he was younger, he loved swimming. Loved being wet or messy. He didn’t have a problem with it. Now just the thought of dirt or water makes him want to puke. 

On some days he could handle water. He could use the bathroom and wash his hands without gagging, he could spill some water on his shirt and not freak out. Some days he could be fine. On other days just thinking of taking a shower, the rain or even a large puddle made anxiety twist and turn in his gut and panic twirl in his mind.

It wasn’t just water, there where certain foods he couldn’t eat cause of their texture. He couldn’t wear certain clothes cause of the fabrics. He couldn’t stand being barefooted. He couldn’t eat gum or wear bracelets, many everyday things that didn’t affect normal people upset Tommy beyond belief. And that was only physical and taste, many things such as loud, sudden noises, whispering or smiley noises made his skin crawl with disgust. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder; he knew why these things made him uneasy or downright sick, but it never made him feel better. Even though he knew the reason why he was like this, he was still like this and he hated it. Knowing the reason didn’t change anything. 

When tommy woke up that morning, he instantly knew it was gonna be one of those days. He woke up and the blanket touching his bare legs annoyed him. He rubbed his face into his soft pillow before sitting up and kicking his legs over the bed. He put on socks and a sweater and left his room. 

He sat down at the table and had a small conversation with his parents during breakfast, him being the only one not eating. It wasn’t uncommon for him not to eat. He thought that eating a meal or anything at all first thing in the morning was gross. Having flavor in his mouth, texture on his tongue when he first wakes up was wrong.  
After breakfast he went back into his room to prepare for online school. He looked at his desk to find his monitor decorated with small neon sticky notes. Most of them reminding him about a stream he had that day and so on.  
His school day went on as normal, though if you asked him his mind was anywhere but paying attention to his teacher. He could only focus on a random spot on his wall. His school day felt numb. He didn’t know how to describe it, but Tommy’s mind felt a little numb. 

Eventually he was done and started to prepare for his stream. He always took a shower before his streams; he had been avoiding it for at least a week now and he knew he needed one. He got his change of clothes ready and put them in the bathroom. he set his phone down on the counter and turned the water on. He could feel the dread and anxiety start to swim in his stomach, but he pushed them down cause he knew he needed to bathe. 

God, he hated being unclean, but he hated showers more. It made shit so fucking difficult. Being dirty felt terrible, he hated being unclean but showers or more specifically water made him so fucking uneasy that he could go a week without a shower and hate himself for being dirty, but it would feel worth it. Up until the eventual shower of course. 

A week’s work of dread built up left him weak in the knees and nauseous. He took a deep breath, stripped, and climbed into the shower. He felt the warm water hit his back and roll down is body. He quickly started to clean himself, scrubbing his body as softly as he could with the soap before rinsing it off. Same with his hair. He was dreading turning the shower off though. 

After a while he finally turned the shower off and just stood there. He started to squeeze the water out of his hair and shake off any large amounts of water on his body. Finally, he got the towel on and started to rub it into his skin. 

He was still so damp it made him sick. He hated the way water dripped onto his face from his wet bangs and continued to drip down his chest. He wanted to be dry. Dry as the fucking desert he couldn’t stand it. His senses felt like they where stinging. His nerves on fire and his brain fuzzy with panic. His chest felt tight, the bathroom was so cold he wanted to put his clothes back on, but he didn’t want cloth to touch his damp, sticky skin. He felt dirtier than he did all week. He knew he was clean, but he felt so fucking wrong, he wanted to rip his skin off just so he wouldn’t have to feel damp anymore. He wasn’t drying off. 

He was rubbing the towel on his legs, arms, chest, back, scrubbing his head trying to dry off his hair so it would stop dripping in the rest of his body. He couldn’t stand being barefoot, but he couldn’t walk down the hall cause it was wood floors and he was still damp and sticky. The bathroom lights felt brighter, and tears started to fill his eyes as he let out a whimper.

Fuck, everything felt so wrong. Tommy felt so sick, he was cold and hot, he wanted to put his clothes on, but he still wasn’t fucking dry enough yet. His breathing picked up until he was only taking in sharp, uneven breaths. Tears started to stream down his face making him more wet, he was caught in a cycle that he viciously wanted to escape from. 

His skin was starting to get irritated from how hard he was rubbing the towel on It but fuck his skin. It was the reason why he felt this way. He was able to put his boxers and a T-shirt on. The only problem was his underarms where damper then he realized, and he could feel the way the shirt stuck. He let out a sharp gasp and he felt himself crumble.

Tommyinnit. Defeated by a fucking shower, a fucking T-shirt. He felt so embarrassed. Normal 16-year-old boys don’t worry about shit like this. Normal fucking people don’t worry about this. Of course, god blessed him with this. Fuck that he felt so tired and so sick. 

He needed to calm down, he’d pass out on his bathroom floor if he kept hyperventilating like this. He didn’t know how to calm down. With shaky hands he grabbed his phone and called Wilbur. He was the first person he thought of. 

His throat hurt as he listened to the phone dial. He was still making sharp gasping noises every time he tried to inhale hair. His lungs burned as they struggled to send enough oxygen to his mash potato of a brain to keep him fucking breathing. 

“Tommy?? Tommy I’m in the middle of a stream can this wait?” he heard Wilbur say. Fuck fuck of course Wilbur was streaming, Tommy bit the inside of his cheek as more tears streamed down his face,

“m-m-m-my b-b-bad I f-forgot. I’ll call you l-later” He hated the way he stuttered, and his sharp gasps could be heard through his sentence. You’d have to be a fucking dumbshit not to notice how terrible tommy sounded. 

“woah tommy? I’m muted and my facecam is off, you good? what’s wrong? Tommy?” Wilbur sounded worried and tommy craved a hug, but the thought of the skin contact made him gag. 

“W-Wilbur I don’t know what- its sticking to me Wilbur I can’t- it feels so gross I feel so gross- Wil- Wil I don’t know what to do help” Tommy broke down into sobs. He felt so ridiculous for interrupting Wilbur in the middle of a live stream, he felt so dumb for panicking over a wet fucking shirt. He felt so dumb and embarrassed. His hair was still a bit wet and his shirt was still wet. He was sobbing on the bathroom floor on call with his 24-year-old online friend. It sounded like a lead up to one shitty fucking joke. 

Wilbur was quiet for a moment before catching on. Tommy had briefly told them about his SPD, he guessed tommy was just super overstimulated.

“Tommy, I need you to close your eyes and take a nice deep breath in through your nose, can you do that for me?” Wilbur kept his voice soft and low. 

Tommy tried to listen. He took a deep inhale, Wilbur continued to help him breathe through it. When tommy’s breathing was back to a normal rate Wilbur praised him, telling him how proud he was that he asked him for help. 

“good job Tommy, everything’s okay see?” he said softly. Tommy thanked him and he finally finished getting dressed. He pulled his shorts on and blow dried his hair. He thanked Wilbur and hung up. He got to his room and took in a nice deep breath and went to start his stream. 

Tommyinnit was gonna be okay, he just really hates water.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so today while showering i had a panic attack. it was not fun, Sensory processing disorders are not fun AT ALL and i hate them.


End file.
